This could easily become a daily feature.
The current list of bills up for consideration and possible action in the NH state legislature this week is so far out there, it sounds like a feature news article from The Onion.
Among them are such gems as HB 542, which overrides the governor’s veto to enact a new law allowing parents to object to any part of the school curriculum.
You can read about it here. Basically, what it states in a nutshell is that if any parent for any reason objects to any component of any public school curriculum, they have the right to opt their child out of the said curriculum and the school must provide an alternative curriculum that meets with the parent’s approval.
So, if you don’t want your kid to read something that you object to, your kid no longer has to read it. I kinda wish this was enacted back when I was a seventh grader, because I absolutely loathed A Christmas Carol and I would have fared far better in the long run had I not been required to read Dickens. Better to spare me the pain and suffering of lengthy run on sentences and get me out of that one. Offer up an alternative, maybe let me watch A Muppet Christmas Carol instead?
In addition to other totally screwed up education bills, including banning the teaching of evolution and ending compulsory attendance in school (I mean, we already attend 180 days compared to the 240 mandated by most foreign countries…clearly we need to have kids in school less, since that is the key to academic success and world domination), there are a few bills up for consideration that are equally screwed up. Take, for example, this one, which at first glance appears to be a fake news article from The Onion, since you’d swear only a fake news source could come up with something this fucked up. But, trust me, it’s real.
House Bill 1580 is the product of such a brainstorming session this summer between three freshman House Republicans: Bob Kingsbury of Laconia, Tim Twombly of Nashua and Lucien Vita of Middleton. The eyebrow-raiser, set to be introduced when the Legislature reconvenes next month, requires legislation to find its origin in an English document crafted in 1215.
“All members of the general court proposing bills and resolutions addressing individual rights or liberties shall include a direct quote from the Magna Carta which sets forth the article from which the individual right or liberty is derived,” is the bill’s one sentence.
I’ll let you sit for a moment to digest that one.
Ok, moving on…being the Live Free or Die state that we are, we of course need a new gun law. And that law basically states that – there are no laws regarding guns. Yup. You see, the NH legislators want to remove all current restrictions on gun ownership and gun use. Specifically, HB 536 would make the license to carry a pistol or revolver optional and allow the unlicensed carrying of a firearm in a vehicle or on or about one’s person, whether openly or concealed, loaded or unloaded, by a resident, nonresident, or alien. HB 334 would prohibit city governments and public colleges and universities from having their own weapon policies.
At first, I was outraged over the law, which means that basically, anyone can carry a gun anywhere they want, loaded, unloaded, concealed, or out in the open, for any reason. I mean, you can see how this could get ugly. People wandering around Walmart with their Glock 19 sticking out of their hip pocket, fully loaded, because…because…I guess because it’s trendy? It’s a fashion accessory? They need to feel safe when shopping in Walmart? I dunno. I honestly couldn’t understand why anyone would feel the need to carry a gun around in public. The way I see it, there are really only two legitimate reasons to own a gun.
1.) For hunting, which is a seasonal activity, and is limited to only certain types of fire arms that cannot be used within a certain distance of commercial and residential buildings
2.) For recreation, such as target practice, which can only be done in approved shooting ranges and on private property
Oh, and for the record, I would like to make it clear that I grew up in a house full of guns, my stepdad was a gunsmith and a gun dealer as well as a former police officer, and I received a gun for Christmas when I was about 11 years old. I started shooting guns when I was about 9 or 10 and I actually had pretty accurate aim for a middle school age child.
Now, unless you are planning on going hunting in the Walmart parking lot or target shooting at the Post Office, I cannot really figure out why you need to carry your gun around in public. And even if you could make a really convincing argument for why you need to do that, I at least think that there should be some sort of process in place to make sure you are indeed using it for legitimate recreation related purposes.
The thing is, I can’t really wrap my brain around why people who own guns want to take their guns with them. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. I can sort of understand the whole “I was on my way to the shooting range and had to stop at Starbucks and I didn’t want to leave my gun in the car, but I really don’t want to draw attention to the gun when I go in for my caramel machiatto, so I want the right to conceal it as to not look like some sort of paranoid crazy nut case.” In that scenario, I feel for the gun owner and think he or she should have the right to tuck it away, out of sight. I get that. What I don’t get is why you need to carry your gun around, loaded, in anyplace that is not specifically designed for the use of firearms.
If you are a gun owner, and you are not going to be using the gun that day, there is no need to take it outside the home. And yet, many gun owners will argue that they have a constitutional right to own that gun and bear it. And they feel that they should be free to bear that gun anywhere they want. But what I can’t figure out is, why do you want to carry your gun around? If you’re only heading out to the grocery store, why bring the gun? What purpose does it serve?
At this point, I can’t figure out which makes less sense – carrying your completely unnecessary gun around concealed, or carrying it out in the open. If you’re just heading out to Trader Joe’s, and you bring your gun, but you conceal it, well, I have to wonder what the hell you think is going to happen in the produce aisle that might require you to suddenly reach for your hidden weapon and surprise that vegan woman who is reaching past you for the latest heirloom squash. And if you feel compelled to carry it unconcealed, I think that you must be compensating for some perceived deficiency. Otherwise, why draw that kind of attention to yourself? “Oh, look at me, I am buying frozen mac n’ cheese and I CARRY A GUN!” I swear, if I ever saw someone out in public carrying a gun and they weren’t either a law enforcement officer, security guard, or in the military, I would probably ask them if I was supposed to be intimidated by the fact that they were wearing a holster with a hand gun. Like, as another customer, I was planning on trying to cut them in line, but oh shit, they have a gun, better leave them alone and head to another checkout.
See, in that situation, I can’t come up with a convincing argument for either method of carrying your gun around.
Most gun owners who want to carry their guns out and about will claim that they feel safe when carrying their guns, or that they carry guns for self defense. We all know that you can’t just wander around mindlessly pointing guns at someone, so I guess the reason people want to carry them is Just In Case. You know, like just in case you get carjacked, or just in case you get mugged, or assaulted. And I realized that most gun owners have probably never been carjacked, mugged, or assaulted. They’ve probably never been threatened with bodily harm. And lucky for them, that no one has ever made a serious attempt on their life or threatened them with injury. As a cyclist, I cannot say the same. I have been subjected to cars veering into me to try and run me off the road, passengers throwing glass bottles at me as the car speeds by, a driver who repeatedly pulled into the breakdown lane in front of me and slammed on his brakes for over a mile along Rte 111 here in Nashua.
And after some serious introspection, I came to a conclusion.
The more that I think about it, I rather like this new proposed NH gun law. If it passes, I could buy a handgun and carry it in my jersey pocket when I ride. Then when some asshole tries to run me off the road, I can pull out the gun and be all “Share the road, motherfucker” and then be on my way.