* This one’s for you, Iowa.
Actual Audio: Rick Santorum vs Gay Soldiers from scottbateman on Vimeo.
In case you haven’t heard, Rick Santorum narrowly missed winning the Iowa Caucuses last night.
WTF Iowans? Who votes for this guy? Granted, I am not a republican, but really? This guy almost won? What kind of a world do we live in where this is acceptable?
And now for something completely different…today’s post is about embrocation. For the uninitiated, that’s a fancy word for expensive smelly lotion that you rub on your muscles. In fact, the definition of Embrocation is:
embrocation Noun- a medicinal liquid that is rubbed into the skin to relieve muscular stiffness and pain
1. The act or process of moistening and rubbing a part of the body* with a liniment or lotion.
2. A liniment or lotion.
*not to be confused with my earlier references to Rick Santorum
First of all, let me state that I do not advocate slathering your bare limbs with embrocation in lieu of wearing leg warmers when racing in cold weather. That’s stupid, because embrocation is essentially a skin irritant that creates the illusion of warmth on the skin, when in reality you are as good as frostbitten if you go without proper layers. But if you’re like me and you have a creaky hip and back that tightens up in cold weather, this can make a difference. The illusion of warmth is enough to prevent the inevitable shivering that occurs and inevitably results in my quadratus lumborum getting all huffy and pulling on things. In that context, it makes sense to use some sort of embrocation. But, I am one cheap ass mofo, and there is no way I am paying $27 for some little jar of stuff with a fancy cycling specific name. And lucky for me (and you), there is a product that does all the same lovely stuff as the fancy expensive brands of embrocation, is about 1/4 of the price, and can be purchased at your local drugstore.
For the record, I am a vegetarian. I am not a vegan (I love me some cheese and yogurt way too much to ever give that up), but I do try to use vegan/animal friendly personal care products as much as possible. I first discovered the J.R. Watkins product line on the clearance shelf at my local Walgreens. I bought two items – some mango scented body lotion, and this bottle of Pain Relieving Liniment.
J.R. Watkins Natural Pain Relieving Red Liniment
I bought the stuff mainly because it was on sale, not because I was in pain or in need of any liniment. But I figured there may come a time when it might be useful. And that time has come. Am I in pain? Well, not exactly, although my chronic hip and sciatic pain is starting to wear on me. I actually used this as embrocation when I ride in cold weather.
J.R.Watkins Natural Pain Relieving Liniment is an old timey apothecary product. It comes in an antiquish bottle and has a quaint label reminiscent of something you’d buy at a country store. This seriously looks like something that would have featured in the movie Oh Brother, Where Are Thou?. It’s made right here in the USA and it is not tested on animals. The active ingredient in the liniment is capsicum, which is the ingredient in peppers that makes them hot. Kinda like pepper spray. So really, this is like a food product. It also has camphor, but there is really no cooling effect. It’s a lot like a pure liquid version of Icy Hot, without the Ice. Which is code for “don’t accidentally get it on your balls.”
If you apply it to, say, your lower back, you’ll get a nice tingly warmish/hot feeling after about 20 minutes of riding in cold weather. The feeling will last long after the ride and will increase upon entering the shower. I highly recommend that you wash this off as quickly as possible once in the shower, unless you really want to feel on your back or body the same sensation of eating Triple Hot Habanero Sauce that is normally in your mouth.
Aside from the emergency shower procedures, this stuff is rather nice on cold days. I mean, let’s face it: lycra has absolutely zero insulatory properties, and if you’re doomed to riding outside in cold ass winter temperatures (which apparently have finally taken effect here in New Hampshire, as it was 8ºF this morning when I left for work), then this stuff is a nice alternative to freezing your ass off. It’s not the same as riding indoors, or riding someplace warm, or not riding at all, but it does keep the muscles kinda warm, even if the warmth is an involuntary reaction to what is essentially the same thing has spraying yourself with pepper spray. But apparently, pepper spray is not that harmful. So slather away, my friends.